Another World
by Jennifer Butcher
Summary: Solas said "In another world" when he broke the lasy Levellan's heart. But the fade is another world.


Levellan crept through the forests of the Emerald Graves, her weapon at the ready. Eyes darting to and fro as she sought out the beast she sensed lurking just out of sight. A twig snapped, she turned and caught a glimpse of it. A large wolf, golden eyes staring at her sadly, and her weapon dropped low. She knew this creature. It was what she was hunting, but she meant it no harm though it was clearly dangerous and could kill her easily if it wished. Instead, it watched her and a profound sense of longing and loss crushed her heart in an iron fist making it harder to breathe. A name on her tongue, though her throat closed around it as tears blurred her vision. She reached for the beast, and it vanished.

She gasped as she came awake, taking in the furnishings of her quarters at Skyhold in the predawn light. She had had the dream again. It was always the same and it always left her  
feeling utterly alone. 'Solas' The name that had elluded her in the dream came easily to her thoughts. Some days she wished she could forget as easily as she did while dreaming. She had even sought out Cole once, hoping he could ease her pain in his capacity as a spirit of compassion, but the spirit had apparently left Skyhold; like so many of the others. The sense of loneliness rose up again, driving her from the bed and out onto the balcony outside her quarters. The icy wind bit at the tips of her ears and froze the remnants of tears on her cheeks as she looked down over the ice covered cliffs below.

How long had it been? She couldn't remember clearly. The days all bled together, the nights haunted by the dream of the Dread Wolf watching her. When he had first left she had burned with such fervor to seek him out, but as the time passed and the dreams continued she had begun to waver. Now, she put on her airs but inside she was screaming. She wanted her lover; wanted to be at his side no matter the cost. She peered further over the ledge, the wind kicking up and whipping her hair about her eyes, the first pink rays of dawn kissing the horizon.

In the fade, Cole traveled silently at Solas's side as the Dread Wolf traveled in his dreams. Tentatively he peered at the ancient elf from beneath the wide brim of his hat. "You are hurting again."

"It always hurts." Solas replied somberly.

"She is hurting again too."

"I know." The elf said, sadness and regret heavy in his voice.

Suddenly the spirit stopped. "Bitter winds tug at hair. Frozen tears stinging cheeks pink from cold. I miss him. I want to see him again. The dead travel through the fade. Rush of fear. Only pain on impact and then I could find him again. Be together."

Solas froze as an icy spear of dread went through his heart, and he turned to the compassion spirit. "She mustn't."

"But she is hurting. She wishes for the pain to stop. I can help her."

"Don't." The single word was a warning. Though he was sure Cole wouldn't help the inquisitor by ending her life there was still a possibility if the spirit couldn't find another option or, worse, if Levellan asked him to.

A look of frustration crossed the compassion spirit's face. "I don't understand. Both of you hurt for the other but you won't let me help either of you."

"Sometimes the only help that can be given is by the two people inflicting the hurt in the first place." Solas answered.

"Then why won't you help each other? Like you both helped me?"

Solas didn't answer, only looked, if possible, even more pained. Then, from somewhere within the fade, he heard the words he had spoken to her on that night in the swamps of Crestwood echo back to him.

[_"You have a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world..."_]

"The fade is another world." Cole said and, as if in agreement, the fade responded with another echo.

[_"Why not this one?"_]

The day passed in a haze. She could barely remember anything that had been spoken to her let alone what she had managed to answer in return for all the menial tasks she performed. She felt lost in her own mind, drifting like a wayward spirit unable to find their way back to the fade. The sun had long since set, someone had built a fire in the hearth of her quarters to chase away the mountain chill. Again she hardly noticed. Wind howled outside the glass doors leading to the balcony, rattling the ancient metal in its frame and drawing her attention. It would storm tonight. She thought again of what had crossed her mind this morning in the early dawn light. The dead become spirits and travel to the fade. If she could go there she could find him, probably faster and easier than they ever could on Thedas. Longing tugged painfully at her heart, but she turned away and instead lay down on the bed, staring listlessly at the stones above her until finally sleep crept in and with it, the dream.

She knew this place and it wasn't the forests of the Emerald Graves. The dream had changed. Instead, she stood on a large cliff side, stone statues of Qunari soldiers scattered about, frozen in time. The familiarity of it made her heart clench painfully in her chest. She did not want to be here.

[_"The Qunari believe you're an agent for someone who has taken the name Fen'Harel."_]

She turned slowly, looking for the source of her voice echoing from around her and realized this was no mere dream. She was in the fade. She had heard similar echoes while there before and at the Breach.

[_"I fear the truth is much simpler, and much worse, than the Qunari believe. Ir abelas, Vhenan."_ ](I'm sorry, my heart)

The sound of Solas's voice made her heart heavy in her chest as she wandered slowly between the statues, half expecting them to come alive and attack her.

[_"Tel'abelas._ (You're not sorry) _If you care, give me the truth."_]

[_"The mark you bear was bestowed upon you by the orb of Fen'Harel, my orb."_]

[_"You're Fen'Harel?"_]

[_"I was Solas first."_]

She crested a small rise and there before her, looming at the edge of the cliff face, was the Eluvian, ethereal light shimmering across its surface, giving it an almost liquid appearance.

[_"Ma harel lasa!"_] (you lied to me) her voice echoed out, angry and accusatory.

[_"Only by omission."_]

[_"Ma lasa banal'ghibana!"_] (You misled me)

[_"What would you have me say? That I was the great adversary in your people's mythology?"_]

[_"I would have had you trust me!"_]

She approached the eluvian, staring into it's rippling magic surface, looking for something that shouldn't be, regret etched over the planes of her features. "If you had just told me" she whispered along with the echo from the fade. Remembering that final conversation and how betrayed and hurt she had felt at the time.

"Vhenan." A voice she knew all too well behind her had her spinning in surprise and hope. Solas stood there, just like he had the last time they had met. Arms folded softly behind his back, a wolf pelt over his shoulder, and such sadness in his gaze it made tears burn her eyes.

"Sol..." she started to say and reached for him only to stop and pull back as though burned. Every time she reached for the Dread Wolf in her previous dreams he would vanish before her. This was the first she had actually seen him since their last physical meeting, and she was terrified he would vanish again. She lay her right hand over her left arm and instead of the cold metal of the enchanted prosthetic the dwarves had crafted for her she was met with flesh and bone only confirming what she already knew. "This isn't real." She said, her voice cracking slightly with emotion as she clenched her jaw against the unshod tears stinging her eyes. Reaching deep inside herself for an ounce of the strength she used to persevere through each day.

[_"I loved you. Did you really think I wouldn't have understood?"_]

"It's as real as you want it to be." he said, taking a few steps toward her. "The fade bends to our wills." His hand came up from behind his back and her eyes left his for the first time, falling to follow his hand as it lay itself gently against her cheek. She could feel the warmth of his skin on hers and her lips quivered as she fought to believe.

[_"Then you would carry the same burden I do."_]

"Don't toy with me, Solas. Is this a spirit taking your form or are you really here?"

[_"I want to. Ma'ghilana, Vhenan."_ ](Guide me, my heart)

"I am."

[_"I cannot do that to you, Vhenan."_]

She half sighed, half sobbed, in relief and clutched gently at his hand on her face, savoring the feel of him and the comfort he brought with his presence. All the pain, all the longing she had been trying to bury threatening to drown her at this moment.

[_"But you would do it to yourself? I cannot bear to think of you alone. Let me help you, Solas."_]

She stepped forward, into his arms, and lifted her own to embrace him, pulling herself up and pressing her lips against his in the softest, most heartfelt kiss she had ever given him. He welcomed her and returned the kiss with as much eagerness as she gave, allowing her to soothe the ache they both felt with that gentle pressure.

[_"I walk the din'anshiral. There is only death on this journey. I would not have you see what I become."_]

He pulled away slowly and her eyes opened to take him in all over again though she refused to release her arms from where they were wound around his neck and shoulders. " I have seen and I love you all the same." she said.

[_"You want to restore the elven people. I would give my life for that."_]

He shook his head slightly in disbelief and put his hand back on her cheek, his thumb tracing the invisible lines of the vallaslin that once marred her features. "You are so beautiful."

He felt her arms tighten slightly. "The last time you said that to me, you took the vallaslin away and then left me." A note of fear creeping into her voice.

He dropped his arm and wound it firmly around her waist, returning her hold on him with one of his own. "That night, I had originally taken you out there to confess everything to you. I was willing to give up everything and lose myself in you. But I was a coward and instead reaffirmed myself to this path."

[_"And now you know. What is the old Dalish curse? 'May the Dread Wolf take you'?"_]

Her arms around him tightened just a fraction more at his admission and the echo from the fade. "It's not too late, Solas. Lose yourself in me tonight and let me do the same."

[_"And so he did."_]

He started to shake his head again ready to pull away.

[_"I did not. I would not lay with you under false pretenses."_]

Her grip on him became almost vice-like, and she pressed herself flush with his body. "There are no false pretenses. No more secrets, no more truths to tell. I know it all now, Solas." She said and met his gaze challenging him.

His heart kicked up a notch as his mind raced. She was pressed so closely to him he could almost feel her own heart pounding with his though there were layers of fabric between them.

He sighed, his shoulders finally relaxing, and he closed his eyes, laying his forehead against hers. "In all the worlds only you have the ability to sway me." He said softly and pressed his lips against the crown of her head. Levellan closed her eyes, savoring the tenderness of the gesture and felt a sensation of sudden movement. She opened her eyes once more to find that they were in Skyhold, but not the Skyhold she recognised. All the familiar furniture was replaced with ancient and intricate pieces that somehow broadcast the true owner of the fortress that held back the sky. She relaxed as her heart leapt in excitement and anticipation but Solas's next words tempered it. "Before we continue, I would have your word on something." She looked up at him, suddenly afraid of what he would say, her arms instinctively tightening around him again. If he left her once more it would destroy her. The fingers on his hand still around her waist gave an answering squeeze. "I know what you have been contemplating recently; becoming a spirit to join me in the fade." She pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth slightly, and he continued. "You won't do it. Promise me."

"How did you...?" she started

"Cole." was all he said in response. Of course the spirit of compassion would know her thoughts and would tell him. Solas tilted his head slightly forcing her to look deep into his gaze. "Your word, Vehnan." he pressed.

She quivered slightly, choosing her words carefully. For as gentle as Solas was with her the way he was staring at her was the same way a starving wolf would eye a halla in the Dales. "So long as I can be with you here in the fade this way I won't do what I was thinking." She promised, putting emphasis on the 'so long as I can be with you' part. The meaning was clear. This wasn't a one time visit or her vow was void. Solas's eyes darkened dangerously, and she was reminded sharply that her lover wasn't merely another elf but an ancient elven god. "I love you Solas, I can't go on without ever seeing you again." She added, pain lacing through her words as she searched his gaze for some sign of agreement.

His expression softened but the dangerous hunger didn't diminish from his eyes. Without a word he put his other arm around her and pulled her almost painfully close and crushed her lips with his; every bit the starving wolf he reminded her of, and she couldn't wait to be devoured by him. She returned the fevered kiss with one of her own, the effort quickly leaving the both of them breathless and panting against the other. More kisses followed, limbs beginning to tangle, hands seeking buttons and buckles as the fade echoed around them.

["Var lath vir suledin."] (our love will endure)

Levellan awoke refreshed and, for the first time in a long time, with a smile on her face and a skip in her step. The fervor in her had been reignited. Somehow, someway, someday, she would redeem Solas. She would change his mind about this world. In the interim, they had one another, their dreams, and the fade.


End file.
